Non-celebrity Drives Chevy Celebrity

Although you wouldn't know it from the name of his car, Mark Hansenfuss of Pocatello, Idaho is a perfectly normal person. While not himself a celebrity, Mr. Hansenfuss drives a 1987, sky-blue Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport. An individual well-grounded in reality, the hard-working Sam's Club stockboy has never been one to let his car's fame and celebrity status go to his head. "A lot of people ask me if there's a lot of pressure, you know, driving a Chevy Celebrity. I mean it's not like it's a Dodge Diplomat. I mean, I'm driving a Celebrity here, I'm driving Jennifer Lopez, not Dick Cheney. But I don't let it get to me. I just try to keep my feet on the ground and remember the little people who made this possible." These "little people", to whom he refers, are in fact Hansenfuss's parents, who purchased the car for $1700 at a police auction.

Hansenfuss is also renowned for giving his car treatment worthy of a true celebrity. "I change the oil every 3,000 miles. This baby has new shocks, a rebuilt carb, a CD player, a zebra-skin seat cover for the front bench seat, a performance muffler, split-fire sparkplugs, red windshield washer arms, a big "Chevy" sticker in the windshield, and I always use floral scented cat litter to catch the oil leak on my parent's driveway." Hansenfuss added that he has tentative plans to add a sticker to the back window depicting the popular cartoon character "Calvin" of "Calvin and Hobbes" urinating on a Ford logo.

Although his is the sportier Eurosport model, with a stock maplight, power mirrors and foglights, Hansenfuss would clearly rather have any Celebrity, rather than no Celebrity. "When I was looking at cars, I looked at Plymouth Reliants and Hyundai Excels. Boooooring. It's like 'hey, I'm so Reliable and boring, buy me.' Or 'hey, look at me, I Excel in all my classes at school, I'm such a nerd'. No sir. Not for the Hansenfuss. It's Celebrity for me, or nothing."

Mr. Hansenfuss has been a mullet-wearer for 14 years.