Man Decorates Home for Holidays... with Cars

Tulsa, OK - Long-time Tulsa resident and proud mullet-wearer William Bratsky, like many Americans, enjoys decorating his yard for the holidays. Every year, hundreds of thousands of Americans decorate their homes and yards with Christmas lights, menorahs, wreaths, nativity scenes, and all of the other festive trappings of the holiday season. Mr. Bratsky, however, is unique in one regard: he doesn't decorate his yard with Christmas lights; he decorates with genuine automobiles. Currently in Bratsky's front yard, back yard and driveway, passerbys and neighbors have the Yuletide treat of seeing a primer-gray 1976 Camaro, a 1978 Chevrolet Malibu, approximately 1/3 of a 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme in the driveway, 2 army-surplus jeep chassises, a rustic pile of assorted pieces of wood and broken lawn furniture, and the crown jewel of the collection: a 1960 Ford F-150 pickup. "I got 'em pretty cheap, at auctions and junkyards and what-not. Plannin' on fixin' em up and sellin' 'em, eventually. But not now, I'd hate to part with 'em. They're awful nice to look at.", said Bratsky, a certified welder, of his unconventional Christmas decorations. Brenda Jo Dodd, Bratsky's neighbor, agreed with Bratsky. "Them cars couldn't be prettier to look at. I just love how I can look out my window and see the sun set over that Cutlass Supreme. With it being yellow and all, it looks like part of the sunset. And when it snows, the kids love to play 'king of the mountain' on his pile of wood and furniture. We sure are obliged to Billy for puttin' up those decorations. And a tetanus shot'll last a kid ten years."

The cars have served Bratsky well as decorations not only for Christmas, but for Easter, Halloween, Valentine's Day, Veteran's Day, and the Fourth of July, for the last 14 years. In the interests of public safety, most of the cars have had their wheels removed and jacked up onto cinderblocks. So that a playful youngster won't lock themselves into one of his cars, Bratsky had the foresight to smash the windows on most of the cars. And Bratsky has no intention of ceasing to share his merry decorations with the neighborhood. In fact, his plans for the future involve the acquisition of a 1982 Ford Mustang, a 1986 Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport, and possibly a 1978 Chevrolet Silverado pickup. Other plans include the placing of a tire, filled with soil and plants in the front yard, a mattress and possibly an old sofa on the front porch so as to provide a comfortable seating area from which to survey the yard's amenities. However, Bratsky noted that none of these acquisitions will take place until he completes the plywood breakfast nook he is adding to the side of his home.