Is hunky Ben Affleck doing some "good will hunting" for a meaty mullet? Sources say this artist's rendition may not be too far from the truth; Ben's childhood admiration of country superstar Billy Ray Cyrus could be a harbinger of capes to come. At a recent Hollywood hob-nob Ben was rumored as saying that, "while most people were caught up in the momentary craze of the achey-brakey-heart, which I can understand, the true genius of Cryus was the perfectly balanced duality of his mullet. It was like shredded wheat; both the short and the long were untiringly appealing, but each for such intriguing and yet unique reasons. To this day it still astounds me."

Detractors of the Cyrusian mullet theory project that Ben would be much more comfortable in the classic Foreigner mullet, and site such late eighties hunksters as John Stamos, and David Copperfield. Spokespeople for the Foreigner mullet camp point out how the Foreigner mullet, with just a touch of five o'clock shadow, communicates the rugged sensitivity that typifies Ben's writing and acting. Others, more in tune with Ben's true persona, recognize the raw, sexual, hunkiness that can only be communicated with tight jeans, ferocious flowing locks, and a flowbeed* top.

And what do the ladies say? "Less shirt and more Mullet!"

Billy Ray would be proud.

*flowbee: the mullet's best friend, a vacuum-hair cutting system that delivers a perfect dome on top to compliment the total chaos in back.